Bathroom Haircuts: Not Your Typical Quarantine "Date"
SEZUHN
It’s finally happened: we’ve gone bananas. Like most couples, Noah and I have been eager to shake-up life in lock-down— and as time continues to pass with a rhythm resembling the 1993 film, Ground Hog Day, we’re getting more daring.
It happened this past Saturday. Armed with a novel audacity and a pair of sheers, we agreed to do what only unattended five year olds do: we cut each other’s hair. Talk about a realm of trust we hadn’t ever planned on testing in our marriage, but there we were. The growing desire for a fresh cut outweighed any ability to think much past, “why the heck not?” Our minds were made up and there was only one thing left to do: watch one youtube video and get cutting.
Admittedly, a home haircut is NOT for everyone. Actually, it’s not for most people… heck, it’s not even for us. We’re just equal parts crazy and ridiculous right now, so please, don’t try this at home.
Before we dive in, you should know…
Neither of us had ever cut hair before (besides the occasional neck trim I’d give him between professional haircuts).
Our education consisted of one youtube video for him, one instagram video for me, and an unusually large burst of confidence nurtured by boredom for us both.
Mistakes were made (you probably can’t tell, thankfully… or, if you can, wait a few weeks before telling us).
No tears were shed.
We couldn’t have done it without the help and support of one another.
Here’s how it could have gone:
Here’s how it actually went:
Noah Before:
Martha Before:
Noah After:
Martha After:
Noah and I sat down to address some of our friends and family’s burning questions, judgements, and “you did what?!”s…
You’re both crazy… but it actually didn’t turn out badly!
N: She was really good at coaching me along the way. I had a general template for what I was supposed to be doing, but she walked me through each step. I was personally very nervous cutting my wife’s hair… you can easily mess that up.
M: I get that, I was super nervous too, and you coached me through cutting your hair. I’ve been to one or two of your haircuts but it’s not something I’m well versed in, so to have you break it down for me as I went was really encouraging and it helped me believe that I could do it.
How long had it been since your last cut?
M: The last time I’d gotten it cut was sometime in January. I was trying to grow out a cut I was tired of, and no matter what I did, my hair was doing that “Jan Brady” flip at my shoulders. It was out of control. At this shorter length, I can now style it how I want. Noah did such a great job!
N: I try to get my haircut every month, but this was a scenario where it’d been… maybe two months?
M: He has a LOT of hair.
N: My hair is also really thick, too, which makes it even more difficult to make some progress while you’re cutting it because you’re having to go through so many different layers of it.
Whose hair was harder to cut?
M: I think it was hard for both of us but Noah’s hair was definitely not easy. It sure took longer than cutting mine, I went slowly on purpose.
N: Mine was probably harder, especially given how much hair Martha took off. I got to watch The Office while she cut my hair, and it got quiet after a while and I could tell she was in the zone and was actually having fun.
M: Yeah, it really was fun. I’m definitely going to look back on this fondly— what helped is we both had an open enough mind to just go with it.
N: We’re not going to be seeing anyone anytime soon, so whatever happened… it would grow back eventually.
Did it turn out salon-perfect?
M: No, neither of us did a perfect job. Mistakes were made along the way, but we were quick students.
N: I don’t know because this cut, to me, is pretty awesome. This is the best cut that I’ve had, at least in the past month and a half! But really, I’m excited to not have to go somewhere to get my haircut now.
M: Hmm… that’s TBD. I’m not sure I meant to become your stylist.
Were you guys scared?
M: We were really tense at first, but I think I was as excited as I was scared.
N: Which is understandable because it’s a super nerve-racking experience, you can’t just press “Command + Z” and undo it.
Was it a good bonding experience?
N: Yes. We had fun and we really had to lean on each other in the process.
M: Agreed. There is something really special about the trust involved in something like this. It helped that we took our time with it and really communicated during the process, too.
I’ve heard of men letting their wives cut their hair… but I’ve never heard of a woman letting her husband cut her hair!
M: Honestly, me neither. But the thing about Noah is he is tremendously talented. I’ve watched him teach himself challenging new things (like shooting, developing, and printing film photography), and he has this excellence in everything he does that made me not worry about him cutting a few inches off.
N: Actually, I cut off more than we talked about initially. I didn’t tell you while I was cutting that I was going shorter. I love your long hair, but every time I see your short hair, I love it, too!
M: I noticed you were doing that and I’m so glad you did! My hair feels so healthy now. I’ve never been too attached to the length of my hair, so I was up for a fun change. The only thing I miss is throwing it up in a bun, but that was a perk enjoyed purely out of laziness.
Would you do this again?
N: Yup. Being able to get my haircut in my own bathroom and being able to tell my stylist exactly how I want it done is the way to go.
M: Yeah, now that we’ve done it, I’d cut his hair again. I’m more confident in what I’m doing and I know what I would do differently next time. I do miss the salon experience so once things are more normal, I’ll definitely go back to a salon for my cuts.
What tips would you give others who are determined to do the same?
M: First of all, don’t. Secondly, it probably really helped that we chose to follow simple cuts. There were few technicalities involved with cutting mine— and for his, it helped that he knew exactly what he wanted and was able to clearly communicate it.
N: You have to really trust the person, I’ll say that.
Are you happy with the way it turned out?
N: Oh man, it’s awesome. It feels so good to have all that weight off, especially now that it’s getting hot.
M: I love it! It’s a welcomed change and given everything that’s going on in the world, it sparked a little joy in our life to have that experience together.
And there we have it, folks. That’s the saga of our most unusual date (as of yet). It feels good to have a fresh cut, now queue the wind machines! Stay safe, everybody.
