SEZUHN

An interview with Jessica Brunzell, the grombre bride
who secretly eloped on a frozen lake on Leap Day, 2020.
Photos by @sbrunzell_photography.

It was February 29th, a date that only comes once every four years. We woke that morning together, had breakfast at our favorite diner as we do every Saturday and then drove to our friend’s cabin in Maine... and when the time felt right we said, “Now?!"

A few minutes later in a pink velvet dress on a frozen lake at sunset with a wind chill temperature in the negative, we secretly eloped in a private ceremony.

@somethinboutjess and husband, Thomas, at their ceremony on frozen lake in Maine on Leap Day, 2020. Photos by @sbrunzell_photography

How did you and your husband meet?

We met through a dating website in 2009 but circumstances weren't right for romance, we became friends and started actually dating in 2014.

“I am so proud to be rocking my natural hair and I have never felt more beautiful than I did on that day. ”

Who fell in love first?

He initiated our meeting and I was the first to admit it was more than friendship. So, I guess, it was I who fell in love first— at least I was the first to say it out loud.

What was the moment you knew he was ’the one’?

It took me years and yet was also an overnight realization. There were so many reasons why we would never work out. 3,000 miles between us and an age difference (just to name a few) but when I stopped overthinking it, I realized we are two imperfect people, perfect for each other.

What about you two as a couple works well?

We fully accept each other for who we are— we are very different but we've never tried to change each other. We our the best versions of ourselves together.

What made you two decide to elope, and on Leap Day?

Thomas and I knew we hoped to spend our lives together, I wore a ring to symbolize our commitment but there was never a traditional proposal. One night over dinner and a shared bottle of wine I suggested tying the knot. Thomas was all for it but neither of us wanted a wedding. Elopement was perfect for us, it was always our first choice. Symbolically, Leap Day really was the perfect day, to take a “leap” into the next chapter of our story and the “once every four years” felt magical to me.

“There were so many reasons why we would never work out... but when I stopped overthinking it I realized we are two imperfect people perfect for each other. ”

Thomas and I do not have a day on the calendar that we began dating, our friendship to romance just transitioned without fanfare and the idea of celebrating that on February 29th, to me, felt perfect. Thomas loved he would only need to remember every four years.

Give us the run-down. How did the day go?

We got up and had breakfast at our favorite diner and then drove to Lake Maranacook in Winthrop, Maine, which is about a two-hour drive. We approached the day with no real structure or plan other than to try to have the wedding at sunset for the photos it would produce.

Sunset on a frozen lake, what could be better than that? Forget that I had never walked on a frozen lake (I am from Los Angeles), I knew it was the perfect spot as soon as we arrived at the cabin.

Somewhere between getting ready and the ceremony, the temperature dropped and we married in single-digit temperatures which was a shock. During the ceremony the camera shutter stopped working. If you didn't capture your first kiss as husband and wife, did it really happen?

Did any of your friends or family know beforehand, or did you surprise them with the news afterwards?

We kept it a surprise. The only people we told were my children. We shared our news the next day.

The gorgeous pink dress. Tell us about it. Where did you get it? Did you buy it with the intention of it being your wedding dress, or was it a spontaneous decision?

I knew I wanted something non-traditional. My wedding ring is a pink sapphire and I longed for a pink dress… I typed “pink velvet dress” into the search bar of my laptop with hope. When I saw this dress online, I knew it was everything I wanted. Unique Vintage was the vendor.

How long have you been embracing your grombre?

December 2015. My transition took 2 years.

“Know that the hair dye isn’t going anywhere. It doesn’t have to be a permanent decision— but know that you just might love your natural hair.”

What advice would you give to someone who is single and scared a potential partner would not like their grombre?

That was me the entire time I was transitioning. I told myself I couldn't do this if I was still out there dating and I truly believed that. However, I couldn't have been more wrong. I have never felt more powerful and beautiful than I do with my natural hair.

What does your husband think of your grombre?

He loves it. He actually encouraged me to embrace the silver and was more confident about the decision than I was.

What was it like to be a natural-haired bride?

I am so proud to be rocking my natural hair and I have never felt more beautiful than I did on that day.

Jess and Thomas tying their knot, also known as handfasting, the practice of couples committing to each other by having their hands tied together with braid, or tying a symbolic knot. Photos by @sbrunzell_photography

What was the most special part of your big day?

Freezing together was pretty special. Those pictures will never let us forget.

Did you write your own vows or go the traditional route?

I left that up to him thinking he would want to keep it simple and traditional. He surprised me and wanted to go the custom vow route and, goodness, I am so glad we did. If your partner wants to write their own vows and express their heart... SAY YES.

You guys got married right before the world changed— little did anyone know that a few weeks later the country would be in “lockdown”. How has your transition into married life been in this climate?

Our transition to marriage was smooth, we have been together a long time and are already living together. But the gratitude for the timing of it all feels magical. We had planned to elope just the two of us, telling no one.

A few weeks before the day we decided to tell my children, two of my four kids are living in Southern California (where I am from), and we flew them out for the weekend. It was such a special time for the six of us to start the journey in this new dynamic, but with the current climate, I feel so thankful that I had that time with all of my children… because of what is happening in the world, who knows when that opportunity will happen again.

I also know of weddings that have had to postpone and those that went forward with their weddings didn't have their day the way they had dreamed and spent so long preparing for.

“We fully accept each other for who we are and we are very different but we’ve never tried to change each other. We our the best versions of ourselves together.”

What advice would you give to someone struggling to embrace their natural hair?

Know that the hair dye isn't going anywhere. It doesn't have to be a permanent decision— but know that you just might love your natural hair. I loved discovering the various shades of grey I had but told myself at any point I could make the appointment to the salon the choice was mine. But, I wouldn't know unless I tried and it turned out, I love it.